Recently I made the decision to drop out of Junior College and persue my nursing goal through Western Career College.
Doing so, is going to get me where I want to be ALOT sooner.
The downside is that it is a big difference in cost and is more intense.
My school days willbe4-5 days a week, anywhere from 8-12 hour days.
CRAZY right?
Although the stress may be overwhelming, The fast pace is also extremely motivating to Kick "Annie" to the curb.
There is absoultely NO way I will succeed a high demand course under Annies supervision.
Nursing used to be my main motivator in the past, but trying to achieve it in a public college is discourageing.
*The wait to get into the Nursing program at De Anza is generally 2-3 years. That doesnt even include the time it takes to complete all required classes in order to actually apply for the program.
Basically, WCC is going to cut out any unnecessary waiting time.
To me, the $ is worth it.
ok now to the ACTUAL point of this post...
Yesterday I wasinformed that my assessment test was today; the test is a 3 part timed test. (Language ,Reading and Math)
So yesterday I pulled out old math books to help me prepare... Wow that proved how much i have damaged my brain through starvation.
**I couldnt remember how to do Basic math (decimals, linear equations ect.)
Reviewing ended up creating a emotional break down. =(
I used to be so smart, really good at math and years of starving has had a major effect.
I couldnt comprehend the reading either without having to read it 4-5 times.
well I ended PASSING my test anyways but this experience has really made me think.
*My Eating Disorder isnt going to get me ANYWHERE I WANT to be...
instead, it will kepp me from moving out, achieving my dreamed career and having a family, not to mention that it will also bring a lot of pain to the ones who love me.
Why do I want to be Thin so bad?
What will that do for me?
It definately doesnt make a difference about how i feel about myself or make me any happier.
So starting at 8am tomorrow, I am getting back on track. I Want a life. MY LIFE.
I know it will be a struggle, I just need to re-question myself ,
"What does being thin do for me really?"
wish me luck...
